He tends to be worse with me and thinks nothing of shouting at me and telling me he wishes I was dead. I thought I had raised my son to. My son is mentally handicapped, he is not stupid. I would like to state for the record that my own adult son has never once given me a porcelain angel. When a family is presented with this category of illness, they may feel like they’ve entered an alien world. We had him for 6 more years, but during that time, my only sibling saw him 4 times. I know I need to end the relationship but the thought tears me apart. We have spent tons of money on rehabs. My other daughter lives abroad too, and never writes or texts or contacts me on Facebook. Below you will find some examples. Our oldest son married his lovely wife one month ago. Check out Mumsnet's Relationships pages for advice on all sides of family life. they r pure evil and will get wats cuming to them now mother is old and my sisters want me to luk after her …NEVER. Estrangement from adult children isn't limited to a certain set of circumstances. He schedules things that don't include me, he won't acknowledge me when I enter the room if he's hanging out with them, and he generally becomes more cold and aloof toward me. After 10 years of putting up with her snidey comments, treating my house like a hotel and me like staff, I finally told her to f*** off and get out of my life. This is one of my favorite things ever written. He is 43 yrs old and lie like a dog. Seth completely ignores us. I am kind, supportive and loving but precisely as you have mentioned, they blame me for things that have not been ideal in their lives and they continue to expect me to be there for them when they need me for money, emotional support, rent etc. I was "in charge" most of the time, but he did support my decisions, even if he seldom had to execute them. I don’t think we would have survived without the wonderful son we now have raised. I heard him saying "mom help me!" On the night of July 27, 2019 at 4am my Son took his life on train. It was so bad my adult daughter and 13 year old son nolonger want him in their life either. My family and friends supported me throughout that year in every possible way. Being estranged from your adult son or daughter can be extremely painful. I changed my son's diet and started giving him vitamins. Having grown kids living with you can be tough, especially around the. Not long after, I too became invisible. He and his wife didn't acknowledge our 55th wedding anniversary. 23, 2015 Ask anyone who has a family member who lives with mental illness, and they’ll tell you it isn’t always what someone would consider smooth sailing. You know what I understand now? My son was rebelling against me just as I had my mother. But that's kids for ya. Needless to say, I'm heartbroken and I am unsure of what to do. See more ideas about Quotes, Me quotes and Sayings. We have a mutual friend and she has complained to me of the same thing happening. I would like for my sister to used my disabled son as a dependent on her tax return this year. "It began to feel like my relationship with my mom made me. In the days and weeks following my Dad’s death, countless people told me “it will get easier. My 30 year old son said he never wants to see or talk to me again. I said my boundaries are- treat me nice or don't come. As a child she continually tried to hurt my feelings and make me cry. ~George Herbert You are my sonshine. They are grown adults. He and his wife didn't acknowledge our 55th wedding anniversary. What do I do when my mother hates me? Asked by an Anonymous User on 2018-10-4 with 1 answer: I really believe my mother hates/resents me and I have believed that for the entirety of my life. Hi Captain: I was raised by a mom who used the silent treatment. The Real Reason Some People Always Seem to Push Your Buttons had enough of me ignoring her, and she sought redemption by making me have a two-year battle with. My son seems to even resent me coming to visit but usually will agree for me to come about once a week to visit for a couple of hours. While is a psych hosp, I got help. I was a single mother for a while, however, I began dating a man I would later marry when my son was about 2. (My mom had wanted to leave with me, but it turned out she had been drinking, and even very young me knew that was bad. Welcome to My Activity. We have been together for 10 years and maintain separate households. Play video games with them, ask them what’s so cool about this maybe that could be ur new thing that u guys do and u can also do other stuff. So what she did to me and how she got my family involve in our shit made me wanting to kill the beetch, but instead all i did was just to ignore it and let her ruin me. For me, time and Scriptures are the things that work best. Anonymous said I googled and found this blog post from 2011. If he was in a bad mood, it must have been something I did or failed to do and it was my job to make him feel better. If your daughter wrote that to you - would you then understand that you are being rude and disrespectful? I cannot imagine the strife you are feeling. If I am worried. They may jump at you, they try to entice you to play and they seek attention by biting at your hands, your clothes, your shoes. We lost our first son to SIDS. My son thinks I should return the divorce settlement money. How to Mend a Relationship With an Estranged Son or Daughter. He is 14 now and still around. ~Author Unknown Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. I'm in this situation as an adult daughter of "the Narc" that has my son perry and won't give him back. How do I find out information about his/her case? Information is confidential unless a Release of Information form has been signed by the probationer. In Response to i have lost my son to his future in-laws: [QUOTE]My son has been dating a wonderful girl for almost 2 yrs and I believe they will be engaged soon. He never takes me anywhere. When he was 22, it came to my attention that he made sexual advances to his younger brother who was 8-9 ish at the time but at the present was 17. Taunting me to hit her so she can call the police. It’s really hard but it is the way it is. We have one son together, I try my best not to let a fight escalate when. Top 15 Ways Our Adult Children Disappoint Us. I am starting to learn that I need to stop being so nice and accommodating, because it is a recipe for getting used and abused. I realized now that he does not make me happy; however, his twenty-two year old son (my stepson) does make me happy. My son however has lost his job, rents a dumpy little one bedroom house, they talk about having a second child they cannot. Not too long ago, one of my children was estranged from me. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. Estrangement from adult children isn’t limited to a certain set of circumstances. He never talks to me anymore, And when I say 'hi' he acts like Im bugging him. My parents also helped me financially raise my son (because I was alone) until about 15 years ago, when I became fully independent (but support most of my 27 years old son's expenses - so I. but my mother in law who ignores my husband and my 4 yr kid has been telling since our marriage that I am a bitch who will dump him soon. Not even a young adult but very much a grown man. How do I get them to reply to me? My son is turning 18 and lives at home. I don’t need him in my life. Replied by BonesII on topic What To Do When An Adult Son Lies I am just coming to the realization that my son might be a compulsive liar. Repairing a relationship is possible, but it takes time and will require patience. I used to call occasionally ("It's not a good time, I'm dealing with the kids") and suggest that I come over on a Sunday morning. My Daughter Was Sexually Molested A Mother's Plight by Kathleen Tell Your child tells you she has been sexually molested by her father, brother, grandfather, whoever, but it is someone you love and trust. I finally had enough and I wanted to know why. I was never upset at you for anything you did. i have an adult single daughter with few friends, and deals with depression, sometimes she needs father daughter time and has asked me to go with her on a 2 day trip to refresh, but my new wife has issues with that. Her mom is bipolar and I believe she is unstable mentally, but very smart and cunning. I saw a train coming and fire explosion and then I saw my Son in a van that was rolling down a hill and I couldn't catch him. steve m July 28th, 2018. She completely ignores me and says hello/goodbyes to everyone else at family functions (that are hosted at MY home) never calls to check in on my husband or me about anything, never takes my children out for fun things, etc. So my best friend has suddenly decided he hates me and this has gone on for 5 months. When your adult child won't talk to you, it hurts. I have decided to walk away. I am 51 and still reeling from the effects of a narcissistic stepmother who married my father when I was 17. Why there are sudden changes in behavior without a clearly. This could have been a list of ten or fifteen ways parents destroy their children without trying, but these six are about all we can stand in one dose. It worked for me. My mom is always emotional to me only, like I am her source of irritation even though I serve her tenderly, politely and calmly. Tagged makes it easy to meet and socialize with new people through games, shared interests, friend suggestions, browsing profiles, and much more. This is a site where abandoned parents can find resources and information. She writes: My husband married me with three children. My son used to be a chatty and active boy, but turned into a very introverted, quiet and inactive youth during his high school years. It did touch my heart that a grown An Open Letter to My Son: Don’t Tough It Out When It Comes to Your Mental Health. Siblings Attacking Me - the Caregiver My backup is my adult son who's an out of work scientist. When my son get's drunk and high on weed, he tells me how bad he hates me and how he would like to kill me, then when he sobers up he will tell me he is sorry. It is a reminder of how far we have to travel emotionally in our adult lives. My suggestion to you is this. We put him out on the street for 4 days 3 nights, I thought I could not stand it so we allowed him to set up a tent in our backyard. I am, after all, the one they hold responsible for the shifting emotional sand in their psyche. When people say “me and my son or daughter don’t do what we do anymore and we don’t have a relationship” then how about you do what ur kid wants to do not want U want to do. He now lives abroad. My husband ignores me—the issues. My wife got her tubal ligation repaired, and it was successful. Because one of us has to benefit, right?" Over the course of the week, the bullying. She made no effort to reconcile for 9 whole months, and even then the attempt was no more than a birthday card and a bought laminated card with a generic apology on it (along with 'life's too short to bear a grudge!). Navigating relationships with adult children can be tricky and letting go of the relationship patterns that worked when they were children is hard but the reward of being friends with your now adult children is more than worth it. My mother has a financial hold me. He walks in the door and barely grunts at me, but he’ll tell me long stories if I text him. Below you will find tips, advice and articles from Jay on important etiquette topics specifically tailored to parents, children, in-laws, and families. My 21 year old son is dually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and drug addiction. My faith has been tested after my youngest son was conceived I met a tall handsome man who was teaching a special ed class we dated for a year n decided we get engaged n plan r son I had two other kids at the time I thought I had things going on the rite track I was in a nursing program we had talked about my previous pregnancy n that o was a. Older sister - is she jealous? My older sister hasn't had much luck in life and says everything has gone wrong for her and its not her fault at all. How do I set rules for this age?. I’m in my 50s and she does whatever he asks her to do and it’s caused friction between my mom. How can we ask our 22-year-old son to leave? very nice guy and doing more that great in school but still ignoring me little, learned the method isn't ignoring him. In the midst of battling the reasons whether they should stay in their relationship or if it is time to walk away, they find comfort in believing that the man must love them because he refuses to bow out peacefully. It’s as if he knows exactly what button to push that is going to make me the most upset or hurt me the worst. Kobalt (AWAL Digital Limited), ONErpm (on behalf of Betty Who); Pulse Recording (music publishing), CMRRA, AMRA, EMI Music Publishing, ASCAP, SOLAR Music Rights Management, Kobalt Music Publishing. But my 13 year old son is half opposite, he grown up rude, don't listen to any suggestions, when he was a baby, he cried a lot and I am very stressed of him. My frustration is not necessarily the kids, but what happens to my husband when they are here. Now he has my son and social services are involved am at court tomrow to try to prove my ex made me ill amd he took my son. We want to see more of our grandsons but we are not permitted to babysit, and if I ask to take them to the park, etc. I took him away from an abusive first marriage when he was two. Even though my husband and I have been married 15 years, she still treats me as though I'm a threat, someone who wants to take her son away from her. Trying to deal with someone who ignores us can be challenging because they do not want to listen to us. Now her children are grown up and earning she ignores me its her son,s wedding now. I Can’t Stand My Daughter’s Friend’s Mom. " Milo Greenberg, 60, had an even more disturbing situation with his grown children. I know that feeling. After almost 30 years of marriage and raising independent children, I can tell you that when they call me? I am not talking about me. It hurts me to my bones that the amount of schooling I did (8 years), passing very hard board exam that only 60% pass and still I have zero respect or recognition. He has done the same to me. Have done one hell of a job raising my son and I honestly couldn’t be more PROUD!. I suffered from pnd when i gave to my son and my ex mental abused me. "It's the same every week. “It hurt that my son no longer valued my opinion. He oldest daughter is very difficult to get along with. You have to decide what you will tolerate and what you won't. steve m July 28th, 2018. Took me away from all my family. 5 year old son has no respect whatsoever for me and his dad. My frustration is not necessarily the kids, but what happens to my husband when they are here. Why is he ignoring me and why has he changed? Does this question sound familiar? Are you puzzled by his distant behavior? Here are ten possible reasons he’s ignoring you. My MIL has become the biggest B* and I just hate it for my family. Yes he is treating me wrong and doing stupid things but why would i want my family to gang up on my children that's the last thing we need is a family war. HOW TO HEAL A RIFT WITH AN ADULT CHILD Frequently I help my clients work through problems with their grown children. " Film critic Caryn James cited the film as being part of a "trend toward stronger, more realistic themes in children's films", specifically its representations of death, specifically that of a young child. At age 3 I went to a child development center and had a group of specialist sit down with my son and asked me 100s of questions. I don’t think we would have survived without the wonderful son we now have raised. What to Do with Adult Children Who Don't Clean Up My wife thought it was crazy of me to ask her son. My 30 year old son said he never wants to see or talk to me again. They are grown adults. After almost 30 years of marriage and raising independent children, I can tell you that when they call me? I am not talking about me. my son just hates me we just cant get on hes 12 and does everything in his power to upset me if i show no emotion he will wreck my house till he gets my attention (when i say wreck it i mean peels off wall paper writes on my furniture and things im embarrassed to mention) i just dont feel i can take much more !!!!!. I only get to see my kids once to two times a week for a hour supervised and when I ask for longer the dad always says no. for children, adopted two from overseas now 24 and 27. It's not harming anyone, and I'm sick of all the gender. Every parent has probably heard it at one time or another: "You're going to spoil that child!" Yet what do we really mean by spoiled child? How do you know if your child is spoiled, and what can. Why is he ignoring me and why has he changed? Does this question sound familiar? Are you puzzled by his distant behavior? Here are ten possible reasons he’s ignoring you. Please respect my wishes and don't contact me again. #85 My son is ignoring me / How do I get into communication with my son? Dear Annie: We have a 52-year-old married son. I do not understand my ex-husband's manipulative ways; I do not understand my ex-husband’s manipulative ways. My son is a junior in high school and is a wonderful joy. No more threats of calling the elders of Jehovah Wittiness’s on me. Just 1o minute away my son and daughter claim to be to busy or they said that they have nothing in common. The son lives with my boyfriend's. My brother recently was jailed after six dwi. The three women are all friends, they are the type of women that you see at drop off in the car park gossiping long after the school bell has gone in the morning. For example, "I love you. She made no effort to reconcile for 9 whole months, and even then the attempt was no more than a birthday card and a bought laminated card with a generic apology on it (along with 'life's too short to bear a grudge!). She will say something disrespectful, try to make me feel guilty about my parenting in the long distant past, accuse me of not caring for her or my grandchildren, take her anger out on me, etc. You obviously missed the point, but I think you wanted to. God gave me the same instincts of protectiveness toward my children that all mothers have. You might feel as if you're all alone with this problem, but estrangement between parents and adult children is more common than you might think. If me teaching my daughter and son responsiblity regarding budgeting, chores and grades makes me a crappy parent then call CPS. My stepmother had been dating my dad for several years “in. Mental health in the NHS: 'My son wanted to die; we begged for help but there was none' After a number of suicides among people let down by NHS mental-health services, one family tells Anna van. was excellent advice for me. My parents also helped me financially raise my son (because I was alone) until about 15 years ago, when I became fully independent (but support most of my 27 years old son's expenses - so I. He is 43 yrs old and lie like a dog. Bullied No More: The End of Workplace Bullying. Should I tell my adult son and his wife they hurt my feelings constantly. 7 Truths About My Son's Addiction that Took 5 Years to Learn May 6, 2018 by Ron Grover, Parent & Advocate I feel deep empathy toward parents just beginning the terrible journey of their child's drug addiction — and those facing the turmoil of a potential next step: rehab, incarceration, considering dislodging your child from the family home. Marriage can be a struggle at times and men can be pigs, but God wants you happy in marriage! Here are 8 Ways to overcome the "I hate my husband" mindset. But I had to speak to him and find out. When Kids Prefer the Fun Parent In A Divorce 10 year old son thought he could ignore me and squared off with me yelling at me to “get out of his house. Please respect my wishes and don't contact me again. I have dealt with my nightmare stepson since he is 7 years old. Toe-headed scoundrels playing in the mud with bare bodies and Sunday shoes. But my 13 year old son is half opposite, he grown up rude, don't listen to any suggestions, when he was a baby, he cried a lot and I am very stressed of him. I heard him saying "mom help me!" On the night of July 27, 2019 at 4am my Son took his life on train. You are my son, but I will not continue to reach out to you if you continue to ignore me or treat me with disrespect. This had put me in a rut and taking my passion, which was one of the things he loved about me – I saw how it had made me less attractive to him. He also cooked dinner. How do I set rules for this age?. I have dealt with my nightmare stepson since he is 7 years old. I love my son dearly, but I don't know how I am going to find the strength to carry on. I have lived one hour away from him for the last 20 years. my sons despise me i wrote a letter and said something but i dont remember the letter perhaps it was when i had a drinking problem many yrs ago. It is a reminder of how far we have to travel emotionally in our adult lives. I had sole custody of my son, who was 6 when I divorced his abusive father, which did not stop his father for suing me for custody, of and on, for 10 years, claiming I was an unfit parent. I dont know what it is my friend said its because of my race but idk. She made no effort to reconcile for 9 whole months, and even then the attempt was no more than a birthday card and a bought laminated card with a generic apology on it (along with 'life's too short to bear a grudge!). I don't know what to do? He is nearly 11 years old, he knows what is right or wrong. by Ellen Pober Rittberg Apr 08, 2010 at 3:00 pm EDT This is sad, but true. He is my only child. This can be done by serving as a diversion (e. Alternately, they may see their parents do a wonderful job, and say to themselves, “they love my children more than they love me. I am 42 years old and I am pretty sure that I am still attractive since I get hit on all the time, but my husband prety much ignores me sexually and it kills my confidence. Mar 7, 2018- Explore michaeladollini's board "DISRESPECTFUL GROWN CHILDREN", followed by 169 people on Pinterest. But I had to speak to him and find out. Bullied No More: The End of Workplace Bullying. She storms by me and ignores me but gets along wonderfully with other workers. She writes: My husband married me with three children. Am I losing my son to his girlfriend? Sue, not her real name, has written to tell me of her problems with her son and his long-term girlfriend. Is there any advice you can tell me that would help prepare me, how are you dealing with the huge change when a child goes from needing & wanting you around all the time, to him wanting so much space that I miss. My mother wasn’t working she depending on me and my siblings to take care of her. My son is grown. I have 2 beautiful adult children that I raised by myself after 18 years of marriage. He has removed me from his life, but has given no reason for other than he "just doesn't like me. He was delighted with the new word; it helped to contain his condition. It hurt so bad because the day before, I had started to believe that she really. Stage of Life is pleased to feature etiquette expert, Jay Remer. Create in my son a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within him (Psalm 51:10). My son's friend overdosed on >>>>> and died. she recognized the escape route my child gave me. She made horrible things up about me to get them to hate me. My son told me he threw out the letter I wrote him after my surgery, when I tried re-connecting with him. she does not mind him do kitchen work when. was excellent advice for me. We have a mutual friend and she has complained to me of the same thing happening. By adopting me, You showed me that someone believes in me That somebody really cares. " I've asked my friend and colleague Miriam Chachamu, a London-based family therapist, author and speaker, to answer Julia's question. You'll also receive updates from Franklin Graham, timely spiritual encouragement and access to Billy Graham's sermons and My Answer archive. Help your son recognize the good things in life. I am 48 and have a new partner of 47. We have 4 grown children 33, 35, 37, 39. I knew if I put him in a home, he would not last long, so I took him in with me, and my 2 children (5 & 6). Everyone looks at me, but ignores me. When I stopped criticizing his choice of clothing, he no longer subconsciously felt the need to rebel. My heart is in a million pieces, my adult son hates me. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. My 22 year old son was diagnosed as a child. I feel I have some real concerns here. To me, it is the fear of falling down, having no ground under my feet. When Your Child Ignores You. Mom and daughter lives with me. Update: he does live with his mom. It only makes us giggle. My son just turned 40. Do you think that your parents love you through whatever? The quiz below will help you test how correct the answer you gave is. I finding this to be an epidemic. My son’s reaction to the dyslexic label convinced me that my reservations were a form of educational elitism. Parents Abandoned by their Adult Children. If you want to know - what do you do when you catch your son jacking off then read some advice from parents who have been there. What My Son. They are now 40, 38, and 31. It's really hard but it is the way it is. Jan 04, 2015 · The Washington Post logo. My daughter told me December 23,2005 that she wants nothing more to do with me. I found this site because my heart is also broken due to the realization that my 3 adult children do not care if I am alive or dead, and am saddened to see how many others are suffering the same way. My ex has come to me recently and let me know about an issue he is having in his home when my son is with them. So what she did to me and how she got my family involve in our shit made me wanting to kill the beetch, but instead all i did was just to ignore it and let her ruin me. What should I do?. I didnt think she truly thought I was talking about her, apparently shes still on a vengence to hurt me and my family. See more ideas about Quotes, Me quotes and Sayings. I have 2 beautiful adult children that I raised by myself after 18 years of marriage. And because of this, You mean the world to me. There are no issues of control or access. Today same thing I arrive to my parents she ignores me I go out to do my tickets for work and when I come back I saw my dad outside and gave him a kiss on the cheek and said hello and he was in a good mood. He never talks to me anymore, And when I say 'hi' he acts like Im bugging him. If my son asks me to talk to her then of course I have no problem but should I don't understand why she thinks he will resent me if I don't tell him to talk to her on the phone or computer twice a week. So my best friend has suddenly decided he hates me and this has gone on for 5 months. steve m July 28th, 2018. adult son bullying me and being verbally abusive: Hi, everyone, I'm new and trying to learn to use this group for support. I have BPD. I am, after all, the one they hold responsible for the shifting emotional sand in their psyche. My brother took his own life in 2008 & he is so much like my son it scares the crap out of me. I got some sense got me and my son out of there. Jan 04, 2015 · The Washington Post logo. Why there are sudden changes in behavior without a clearly. Bad mistake. My frustration is not necessarily the kids, but what happens to my husband when they are here. I was only 4 when my niece was born. My son just turned 40. I love you, Mom. So, what message are they sending me? I am not surprised as they have treated me this way my entire life. He started making fun of me when I was only three years old. Within the last year, I ended my 20-year marriage after slowly coming to the realization that it was a codependent relationship. my little girl means the world to me and so does my wife. As soon as they arrive, it's as if we're not even married anymore. He oldest daughter is very difficult to get along with. I miss you. But since they've left the nest, you're wondering Why don't my kids call? There's countless old jokes about the anxious mother. I only get to see my kids once to two times a week for a hour supervised and when I ask for longer the dad always says no. Is it possible that my son's depression is due to hereditary reasons? but for what she has done to me as an adult. If you are estranged from your adult child, if your child has cut you out of his or her life—whether for a long or short time—it is a gut-wrenching experience. We married when my son was three. My Grown Son Ignores me! - Thank God my son doesn't have any children or a steady girlfriend, so what's his excuse for not calling me or even. I thought he didn't want me around. My wife and I are at our wits in and cannot get our sons out of our house. So, your once chatty teen has suddenly clammed up. #1 Problem: He'd rather hang out with his friends. Kids are masters at pushing buttons, and not listening/ignoring is one button that gets pushed a lot! Kids choose to ignore parents for many reasons. I have 2 boys and 2 girls. Alone, almost 50, My Teenagers ignore me, Never spend time with me anymore. So, your once chatty teen has suddenly clammed up. ” Thus, making their parents out to be bad and selfish helps them avoid facing the results of their own actions. Hi Captain: I was raised by a mom who used the silent treatment. If he seeks attention in a narcissistic sort of way, don't give in. But in my case I came back to a supportive and loving family. Nothing has helped. She gave birth to me, so my options for escape were very limited. My children communicate with me. My curious mind urged me to read on, and I was shocked with my findings. I have a close relationship with his youngest daughter. She has 2 children, my only grandchildren. How do I set rules for this age?. I know that when my son’s number hasn’t shown up on my caller ID for three or four days, I begin to worry. If it happen that they ask me about my new behavior I tell them that it isn't good for my self-esteem if someone I care about ignore me and I need to protect myself. I know that feeling. My Daddy series: 1) My Daddies 2) My Babies 3) My Pregnancies My Concert Dates:. I realized that I have all these other people so what the heck did I need a toxic adult child for? I. My son was my best friend. My mom is always emotional to me only, like I am her source of irritation even though I serve her tenderly, politely and calmly. " - read what others are saying and join the conversation. You always make your daddy and me ashamed. Your child is your child no matter how old. Grandparents feel their son or daughter has been brainwashed by his or her spouse. At the end of the day we said a quick bye. So my sister has been angry with me for this. You would think that dealing with adult children after divorce would be easier than helping younger children understand everything. Is it possible that my son’s depression is due to hereditary reasons? but for what she has done to me as an adult. I have 5 so I have a bit of experience. Developing relationships with adult children can be a challenge. Then he went on to say, “Wait until your. I am, after all, the one they hold responsible for the shifting emotional sand in their psyche. Play video games with them, ask them what’s so cool about this maybe that could be ur new thing that u guys do and u can also do other stuff. My father was standing there--tall, still, dressed very correctly.